


Squish

by scatterglory



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Challenge Response, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-13
Updated: 2010-01-13
Packaged: 2017-10-06 06:02:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scatterglory/pseuds/scatterglory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, it's kind of a plague-ficlet . . . whatever.  I'm just reponding to <a href="http://hyperfocused.livejournal.com/158478.html?thread=555534#t555534">this comment</a> by <a href="http://dzurlady.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://dzurlady.livejournal.com/"><b>dzurlady</b></a>.  :P</p>
            </blockquote>





	Squish

**Author's Note:**

> _**Challenge response**_  
> [](http://hyperfocused.livejournal.com/profile)[**hyperfocused**](http://hyperfocused.livejournal.com/)'s [Challenge](http://hyperfocused.livejournal.com/158478.html?thread=555534#t555534):
> 
> _Is the ocean on Atlantis running red with blood? Have the cows and horses in Smallville suddenly dropped dead? Has Dr House seen a huge upswing in the number of people with boils? Has a rain of frogs hit The O.C, causing Summer to say "Eww, really gross"? _
> 
> _In honor of Passover, I bring you The Plague-ground:Ten Plagues fic/art challenge. _
> 
> _Take one of the proverbial ten plagues, pick a fandom, and go to town. Heck, take all of them. If you want to throw in other parts ot the story of the Exodus from Egypt, feel free._
> 
> _This isn't the Worst Case Scenario, (for the most part). It's just the grossest._
> 
> _So come play. Drabbles or stories,drama or comedy, icons or bigger art. It'll be more fun than finding the Afikomen._
> 
> _All ratings and pairings (or gen). No deadline, but try to get it done in less time than it took the Israelites to reach the promised land._
> 
> _Here are your choices (but of course you already knew them):_
> 
> _1\. Water turns to blood  
> 2\. Frogs  
> 3\. Lice  
> 4\. Flies  
> 5\. Cattle, Horses, Oxen die  
> 6\. Boils and blisters  
> 7\. Hail  
> 8\. Locusts  
> 9\. Darkness  
> 10\. Slaying of the first born sons._
> 
> _Motza Luck! Or is that Lotsa Muck? _

_Squish._

"I'm."

_Squish._

"Going to."

_Squish._

"Kill them."

Rodney looked down at his shoes in disgust. "That's absolutely revolting. I really will kill every single one of them."

Elizabeth glanced up at him, amused. "Who, the frogs or the children?"

"It's pest control either way," he spat.

Teyla looked alarmed. "Dr. McKay, the children had no idea that this particular species of frog would reproduce so quickly; they only wanted to have some pets—"

Rodney ignored her. "This is ridiculous! How am I supposed to get the new ZedPM online when I can't even get to the control room?"

"McKay," Ronon rumbled. "They're just frogs."

"Oh, you say that now, but in the middle of the night when you hear something in your room and you get up to turn on the light and slip on something slimy, only to find every orifice in your body plugged by squirming, slippery, _evil_ little—"

"I think Rodney has a phobia," drawled John. He leaned in the doorway, smirking at the irate scientist.

Rodney glared at him. "It's easy for you to be calm. You have _boots_."

John glanced down at his feet, and beamed back at Rodney. "Yes. I do."

"Rodney, we really need that ZPM up and running," Elizabeth reminded.

"No. There's no way. I'm not leaving this office until all the frogs are gone. There's _millions_ of them out there—!"

"McKay—" Elizabeth wasn't amused anymore.

Rodney shook his head. "No."

Elizabeth sighed. "Fine. John, give Rodney your boots."

"They probably won't fit him," John grinned, reveling in Rodney's distress.

Elizabeth turned her attention to the pilot. "Either give him your boots or carry him down to the ZPM room."

Both men stared at her. "Do I look like I'm joking? Now, people!"

* * *

_Squish._

"You have a very comfortable back, Major."

_Squish._

"Shut up, McKay."

_Squish._

* * *

"All's well that ends well, right, McKay?" John smirked, pushing his food onto his fork. He'd just finished the story; Radek was still recovering. The Czech scientist had never turned _quite_ that color before . . .

"Shove it, Sheppard." Rodney managed to speak around a mouthful of cassarole without losing a morsel. "Thank god we were able to create that electrical field three inches from the floor, or else we'd be up to our ears." He paused and took another bite. "Where did the clean-up crews put the bodies, anyway?"

Radek and John exchanged glances.

"What?" Rodney began to get worried.

"Well, we didn't want to say anything, seeing as you'd just got your appetite back—" began John, sympathetically.

"—but it turns out that three of our esteemed cooks are French," Radek concluded, grinning.

Rodney's fork had barely hit the floor before he was out of his seat and gone.

"So what, no compliments to the chef?" John called after him.

Radek chuckled. "Was that cruel?"

John took a bite from Rodney's cooling tray. "Nah. I carried him to the ZPM room, so I know first-hand that he could stand to lose a little weight." He smirked. "It's too bad his dinner's not agreeing with him, though—think how disappointed he'll be when he finds out that our fabulous French cooks decided tonight's casserole would use up the last of the frozen chicken."

Grinning as he helped himself to a bite of Rodney's dinner, Radek lofted his fork. "Bon appetite."

 

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaaaand . . . [here's a FABULOUS cover!!!!](http://pics.livejournal.com/in_the_bottle/pic/000ssgqb) by the wonderful [](http://in-the-bottle.livejournal.com/profile)[**in_the_bottle**](http://in-the-bottle.livejournal.com/)! Go! Look! Love! ^_^


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